“Mama said there’ll be days like this…”
This year has been a roller coaster in so many ways, and I’m not sure the ride is going to stop anytime soon. Since June, I’ve been on the move—first living out of my truck, then at a friend’s guesthouse, and finally in my Airstream, saving every penny to make my dream of land ownership come true.
In late October, I finally settled onto my own land. But Mother Nature didn’t exactly roll out a welcome mat. Within days, I was scrambling to prep for an early snowstorm, getting my first taste of winter off-grid.
At first, watching the snow fall around my Airstream was magical. But that cozy winter scene quickly turned into a cold, hard lesson in the realities of RV living.
The good news?
I survived! A little more experienced, a lot wiser, and very aware that winter was just getting started.
A much needed rest.
Keeping warm in an RV takes serious effort and energy. So when the temperatures trended back up, I was relieved. There’s no denying that RV life is way easier in mild weather.
The past few months had been non-stop as I bounced between temporary homes, side gigs, learning the ins and outs of RV life, working my day job, and pushing to close on my land. Every day had been a puzzle to solve, and by the time I finally landed on my property, I was really exhausted. I needed a break to recharge.
I made a checklist of things I needed to do to better insulate the Airstream, but instead of acting on it, I did something different: I slept. For several days, I went to bed at 8 p.m. and clocked 12-hour nights.
I settled into a new work routine, took local walks and runs, and cozied up to my propane heater in the evenings, soaking in spectacular sunsets and a glorious Halloween full moon. It was exactly the reset I needed.
For the first time in a long time, I could just be.
I was still nervous about the thought of staying in the RV all winter, especially if I chose to stay on my own undeveloped land. Sure, I survived a long weekend of cold, but if I stayed the course I’d have way more than a few cold days to endure. I wasn’t at all confident in my ability to do so. After a few days rest though, I felt a renewed sense of energy and confidence that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to stick it out and make it work. I was determined.
It didn’t take long for that renewed confidence to be shattered.
Mother Nature Strikes Again.
By the time Friday rolled around, I was feeling recharged and even—dare I say it—a little more confident about winter.
Mother Nature took that as a challenge.
As I wrapped up a work call that afternoon, a sudden gust of wind rocked the Airstream, sending my rigid foam insulation flying. I ran outside to chase it down, just as 25-35 mph north winds kicked into full force.
I’d known from day one that the pole barn on my property had a loose piece of metal roofing. In light winds, it made a rhythmic bang like someone hitting metal with a sledgehammer. The pole barn was at least 40′ tall. “How in the hell am I going to fix that!?” I thought. I had two contractors come out and take a look but no one had a ladder tall enough to get up there.
Now? With the wind howling at full force?
BANG.
BANG.
BANG.
I could barely hear myself think.
My work lunch break was rapidly coming to an end so I quick ran around and removed all the foam insulation from my RV before the wind did it for me. Some of the foam was 6′ long and comedically tough to wrangle in strong wind. I stuffed it into my truck and grain silo and laughed about the absurdity of it all, even taking a video to capture the moment.
Not 30 seconds after I stopped recording this, I heard a loud crash from the front of the Airsteam. Perplexed, I walked around to look and saw my solar panel had been blown 10-20 feet away by the wind.
“NOOOOOOOOO!” I yelled.
Heart sinking, I rushed to check for damage. The panel itself looked okay, but the bracket attaching the charge controller was completely bent. Even worse, the wire connecting the panel to my batteries had snapped clean off.
In an instant, my most reliable power source was gone.
I sat in the dirt, the pole barn roof banging above me, trying to process what had just happened. Everything had literally blown apart. My insulation was a mess. My solar setup was wrecked. My confidence? Gone.
Failing some more.
I had no time to dwell. I had another work meeting, so I tossed the solar panel into my truck and texted a few photos to friends.
Everyone assured me it was an easy fix.
“Just cut the wire, reattach new terminals, and reconnect it!” they said.
That was great advice if only I had the mental energy left to attempt it. Electricity and batteries are my least favorite things to mess with, and after months of problem-solving, I had officially hit my DIY limit.
But I had no choice.
At the end of my workday, I dragged myself to the Twisp hardware store and picked up terminals, electrical tape, and a wire cutter/stripper/crimper tool. I had no idea what I was doing.
I spent my Friday night Googling “how to repair a wire” while listening to the never-ending pounding of the loose metal roof. I made three separate trips back to the hardware store, where I kept failing to meet the $5 credit card minimum so I kept buying Twix.
By the end of the night, I had a lot of Twix.
Despite my best efforts, every time I plugged the panel back in, the controller failed to detect my batteries. Frustrated, exhausted, and completely defeated, I sat outside in the dirt as the sun set, questioning everything.
“What in the hell were you thinking trying to do this on your own?”
I called my dad, telling him it was the lowest I had felt since starting this whole journey. Power is everything when you’re off-grid, and I had just lost my main source of it. I told him I didn’t think I could do this much longer.
That night, I gave up on the solar panel, fired up the generator, and crankily went to bed. I got very little sleep thanks to the never-ending BANG BANG BANG of the pole barn roof.
Try, try again.
Saturday morning, I woke up and decided to try one more time.
It still didn’t work.
I was about to give up completely when, out of desperation, I texted a friend for an electrician referral. As luck would have it, the guy they recommended was already in the area and said he’d swing by.
Unbelievably, he showed up within the hour.
He tested the setup and found that the panel was still generating power (a huge relief), but no power was reaching the batteries. After ruling out blown fuses, we concluded that when the wire was severed, the controller must have shorted out.
He did compliment my repair job, which made me feel slightly less like an idiot.
I ordered a new charge controller and resigned myself to being without solar power for the next week—just in time for nothing but sunny skies in the forecast. Thanks, Mother Nature.
Clearing my head.
Needing to get away, I grabbed Hudson and went for a run in the fall larches. I wasn’t running as far or as fast as I used to, but just getting outside cleared my head.
I remembered why I was doing this. My goal was to live simply and be more connected to nature. If I wasn’t getting outside to enjoy it, what was the point?
Later, I read my horoscope for the first time in a while.
We live in an “automatic” world. Doors open for us. Lights come on when it gets dark. We can connect with a world at our fingertips via devices we can carry in our pockets. It’s no wonder that we sometimes assume that everything will be easy – but sometimes the best things in life take more planning, more time, and more patience, Aquarius. If you were expecting something you worked for to work out instantaneously, you have to be patient. Savor the moments in between your efforts and the outcome. Those moments can be just as satisfying as what you are waiting for.
Well, damn. That hit home.
Controlling the things I can.
I promised myself long ago that if I ever became a landowner I would do everything in my power to be a good steward of my land before anything else. With that thought in mind, on the drive home I stopped by the hardware store and picked up bolt cutters and fence pliers. I decided to enjoy what was left of the beautiful sunny weekend by taking control of something I knew I could do and would make me feel like I was making progress.
That Saturday afternoon I went to work removing barbed wire from the property and cleaning up old pipes, junk, and hay bale strings. As soon as I started working in the warm sun I forgot about everything else and focused on the task at hand. It was almost like the meditation of gardening.
By Sunday evening I had a huge pile of barbed wire and other junk. I removed all the wire around the pole barn, opening up the north side so I could drive my truck under it and clearing out the sides in anticipation of installing a wind break. I put the rigid foam back on my RV but this time with a lot more tape.
By Sunday night, I was sitting outside with a beer, my propane heater warming my feet, generator humming in the background.
The last 48 hours had sucked. But I knew this wouldn’t be the last time things didn’t go as planned. I could either fight it or learn from it.
Maybe Mother Nature wasn’t out to get me. Maybe she was just testing me and prepping me for the bigger challenges ahead.
Either way, I planned to take it one day at a time and savor every moment, good and bad.
I remembered that fitting horoscope again:
“Savor the moments in between your efforts and the outcome. Those moments can be just as satisfying as what you are waiting for.”
And so I did.
I savored the moment, sitting in front of my heater, learning how to live alongside nature more closely than ever before. I feel more free and self-reliant than ever before, yet at the same time, I’ve been humbled and so very grateful for the support of an amazing community of local and non-local friends around me. Thank you all of you!
I have no idea if I’ll stay here on my land all winter, if I’ll hook up and head to the RV park in town, or if I’ll winterize my Airstream and bail. I have no idea how long it will take to make progress on my building plans or what else will go right and wrong along the way. I will; however, take it day by day and savor every single moment, good and bad. After all, it’s the sour that makes the sweet taste sweeter and it also makes for great stories and adventure, right!?
And I’m damn glad I bought that 3000 watt generator!
